I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
