i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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