Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If I die, sorry about rent.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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