I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
