he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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