Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
a search helicopter?!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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