Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
