ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
