I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
This is my gift to your gina
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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