can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
