so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How external is "for external use only"?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
