My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
