walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
