i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
