I bet he comes in French.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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