Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
