Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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