therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
