I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
