i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
