If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
