Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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