I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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