She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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