I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
