he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
