I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
