You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
