my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
