She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
