Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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