I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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