Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
