She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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