if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
