Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
