I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
