On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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