i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
