he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
