Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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