He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
