I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
