still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
