i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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