My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
