What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
