He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
barbara walters just said penis...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
