Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
