It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
