If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Everclear isn't food dammit
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
