I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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